Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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