I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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