Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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