I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
