Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
