Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
