I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
