Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
