I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I am available for nakedness
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
