My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
