That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
