We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
