...so i touched it.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
two words: eviction party
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
