used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
