I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
