Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
