Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
