Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize