Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
