So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
