wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
