I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
