a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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