Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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