Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
