why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
