I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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