i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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