But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
