He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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