Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
