her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He felt like a one man threesome
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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