Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Welp...herpes.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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