i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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