It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
