After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
