I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
