We won't sleep together?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
