the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
