That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
