i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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