I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
