Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I am full of burrito and curiosity
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
