He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
