sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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