I could have mohawked her pubes.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Is Oprah even human
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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