when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
