If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
