32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Randomize
