Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
