you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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