i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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