I wish I could punch you in the face.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
