if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize