dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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