Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
