How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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