he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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