trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
