I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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