Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
